What McDonald’s and your highschool crush have in common…

Alright I know, this is a bit off – in the sense that it is not travel related – but I had a revelation the other day… about McDonalds

…. Hear me out ok?

So recently I passed a billboard of McDonalds when walking in Melbourne.
I noticed that this company got some new fancy-ass commercials to lure in customers. One side of the board portrayed some fresh brown coffee beans, claiming “We offer our  best coffee of all time”, the other one announced: “Maccas delivers now directly to your home”!
Awesome!
Totally not offers that dozens of other fast food chains did YEARS before!
And then it dawned to me: McDonald’s is exactly like that kind of woman that was a super hot girl during school – and got too used to it.

When she was young, everybody wanted her, she couldn’t even hide from all the attention and offers she got.
“Oooh McDonalds, i know you’re not good for me but ohmygosh, you are fiiine!”
“She is so hot and kinky and brings so many toys – i didn’t even know i could be so into that kind of stuff!”
Naturally she got used to this kind of attention. In fact, she got so used to being wanted by everyone that she didn’t even try anymore. She grew lazy and overly confident.

Now,  several years later, she’s lazy and fat and ugly and that pushes people away.  Apart of some who are into that kind of stuff but hey, who am i to judge amirite?
Anyway,  after years of people whispering behind her back
“she hooks up with everyone”,
“she is dirty like a skank”,
“i heard Josh caught a mean sickness after sleeping with her”,
she starts to worry. She notices, that the guys withdraw their attention from her and prefer other girls, so she buys new dresses and new makeup – “look at me guys, i am still beautiful!”  But if truth be told, the only time guys actually hook up with her today is after a night of partying when they are shitfaced drunk and there is literally no other option left.  And the next morning they’d even rather not admit they fell for her again.

Instead of drawing the right conclusions now – you know, like getting out of business or at least having a strict diet and a complete makeover … – she assumes a simple new layer of makeup will do the trick.

Sorry,  lass, but that alone won’t do, alright? 

Now i don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or anything. The genders in this allegory are interchangeable and if you still like McDonalds feel free to do so. To me the similarities are uncanny, that  is all, so i had to throw a little dirt. No hard feelings, Maccas, alright? 

 

Slut.

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